Kollar's Lost Again!

japanese domestic terrorism

it’s horrifying when you see it on the news.  we always want to believe that this sort of thing doesn’t happen in our own country but then you see the images of the aftermath at a government building or in a quiet suburban town.  how could this happen, we wonder.  what would cause anyone to do such a thing? 

a natural disaster is an easier pill to swallow since we can all accept the unpredictability of mother nature.  we say “such is life” and shrug it off.  but it seems that when we’re forced to witness the darkest recesses of our own human nature we try to seek refuge and comfort in naming a scapegoat.  we blame celebrities, popular culture, the movies and media.  we even blame schools and teachers.  often it’s the parents who are blamed last.  that’s when we have to put a face to the problem and we come inevitably closer to seeing our own image.  and rightfully so.  after all, aren’t we all to blame?

ever since that first primate threw its feces at another in anger, that violent instinct has lived on in every human being.  like it or not, the reality is that this sort of thing happens almost everywhere.  it happens in the middle east, africa, europe and america.  and it even happens in japan. 

today i found myself the victim of one of these senseless acts of cruelty.  sadly, it won’t receive much media attention in japan.  this country would rather ignore the problem, or worse, deny that it even exists.  but it does exist!  this kind of thing happens everyday  in japan and its citizens barely blink an eye despite it leaving countless innocent victim, like myself, injured and traumatized. 

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today started out like any other day.  the weather was unseasonably warm for novermber and i was horsing around with some of my junior high students during lunch break.  a boy proudly reported to me and all his friends that “scott sensei smells.”  while i was pleasantly pleased with the proper pronunciation of his english proclamation, i couldn’t allow this kind of slander to go unchecked.  so i went for his neck but he darted away in anticipation of my response.  on more than one occasion my students have learned that i can squeeze the life out of them with just one hand or hang them out a 3^rd story window in the blink of an eye.  well he might have been quicker but i wasn’t about to let it slide.  

schoolyard justice dictates that i take this little bastard down.  downtown to chinatown.  school is a lot more like prison than we though when we complained as kids.  you let another inmate (student) push you around and you look weak.  they keep coming at you until it ends badly for someone.  you have to send a message loud and clear that you’re no punk.  it’s get or get got.

so i waited. 

i went back to whatever infantile behavior i was engaged in, pretending to forget, but i kept him in my peripheral.  he lingered on the other side of a small railing which gave him the illusion of security as i entertained his cohorts.  but these little shit eaters have the attention span of a squirrel and i knew his curiosity would get the better of him.  i waited until he wandered just within reach and BAM!  i struck with my hand like a rattlesnake.

a direct hit. 

however, instead of his arm, i had only managed to get a decent grip on the jacket of his school uniform.  now i may be little more than a large child myself but i’m no fool.  if my students are bruised, bleeding or broken (and that includes their uniforms), the consequences will be worse for me.  inflicting psychological damage and emotional trauma is more my modus operandi.  like any helpless rodent his instinct for self-preservation kicked in and he tried to escape.  so, in an attempt to get a better grip i leaned over the railing and put a death grip on the little egg sucker”s neck. 

“i gotcha!” i hissed, as his body stiffened and his knees buckled.  “who smells now you little rat?!?!”

and that’s when it happened.

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i was hit by, what in japan is referred to as “kancho.”  for those of you who aren’t familiar with this despicable act, this is how it plays out:  a student (usually a boy) makes a hand gesture identical to the pretend gun in those annoying and overdone charlie’s angels poses.  they look for a target.  it could be another student.  it could be their best friend or their worst enemy.  and as i learned today, it could also be a teacher.  they position themselves behind their mark.  if they’re patient, they’ll wait until that mark bends over and then…frightfully…they ram it home!  i’ve witnessed this many times during my stay in japan.  on several occasions i’ve had to remain alert and either avoide becoming a target or fight off the would be attacker.  but today i wasn’t so lucky.

typical of any terrorist attack, it hit without warning and caught me completely by surprise.  the details are fuzzy and even now it’s a bit difficult to relive the horror, but i feel my story must be told.  i won’t try to describe the sensation.  like it or not, i’m sure you can imagine.

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“MOTHER OF PEARL!” i cried out as i lost my grip on the original offender.  my body straightened and my back arched as if i had been struck by lightening.  i swung around, one hand looking for vengeance and the other clutching my ass for relief.  but by now they had all scattered in search of safety.  my eyes locked on to the attacker and every one of them stopped frozen in fear.  i shot out my fist and pointed at him with a look on my face that was deathly serious.  the power of my index finger seemed to knock him back a bit even from 40 feet away.  i held my on eyes his, put all my anger into snapping the finger that was pointed his way, and then fired it directly to the ground at my feet.  the earth shook and i swear i heard thunder.  the defendant lowered his head and walked to me slowly as if he were in chains. 

like a puppy threatened with a rolled up newspaper, he buried his head in his shoulders, looked up at me with sad eyes and muttered, “i’m sorry” in his best english.  it was enough to melt even the coldest heart.  i pulled back the daggers in my eyes, softened my gaze and gently put a hand on his shoulder.  then i grabbed him by the waste and flipped him upside down taking grip of his ankles.  i was judge, jury and executioner and i may have been bleeding from my asshole so i wasn’t going to let him off that easily.  

his friends began to giggle again as he screamed for help and mercy but i wasn’t having it.  at this moment one of the teachers who speaks english was coming toward me and in an alarmed voice asked what i was doing.  without loosening my grip i uttered the only word that i felt might offer any kind of explanation for my actions:  “KANCHO!”  with that the teacher stopped short next to my struggling prisoner, looked down at him and spanked him on the ass.  she then looked at me and said pleasantly, “please continue.” 

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i would have liked to exact my revenge on him in the same fashion he executed the crime, but i bet it would raise more than a few eyebrows if an adult did the same to a student.  suffice it to say, i made sure he and other students won’t try that again on me.  let’s just say i sent a message and the kid receiving it could be heard loud and clear across the schoolyard. 

i’m sharing this, not because of my personal triumph, but to raise awareness.  this kind of thing does happen and it can happen anytime and anywhere.  i’ve witnessed it firsthand (pun intended).  it’s difficult to be prepared but we can educate.  we should all do our part to promote kindness instead of violence.  even the smallest effort can help make this world a safer place for our backsides.  we need to think globally and act locally.  

god my ass is sore